the bell

I asked Bubba to take me to

 Trader Joe's yesterday afternoon before we left to come home.

I am definitely not an environmental wacko....

I just like several different kinds of cookies they sell.

I also drool over their cut flowers.

Anyway,

when I went to check out amid all of the

environmental wackos that WERE shopping there,

I inadvertently pushed my cart on the wrong side of the register.

To cover up my stupidity in this fast paced sea of environmental wackos 

who knew exactly what side of the register to push their buggies, 

I blurted out,

"Sorry, I'm a new customer."

Now, I've shopped at many other Trader Joe's in all of our travels,

In fact, I had been in that store two times previously.

But it didn't make any difference to the cashier.

All she heard was "NEW CUSTOMER."

In the next split second,

she was ringing a huge and extremely loud bell,

deafening me and sending me into shock.

All at once everybody in the store started clapping and yelling.

Not only did I feel stupid,

but my stupidity was called out to the store.

I was humiliated.

I couldn't wait to get out.

But, there was more....

she proudly awarded to me 

 one of the environmental wackos' shopping bags.

Bubba was waiting outside of the store.

The minute he saw my bag of cookies he accused me

of buying an 

an environmental wacko shopping bag

and he berated me for it.

All I wanted was to get in our ten year old van and head for home.

The cookies are delicious though.

Well worth the trouble.