falling

Grief comes and goes now.

Today it came.

Monday is workday for me...always has been.

I stay home and clean my house and wash my clothes and change my sheets and make the bathrooms sparkle and vacuum

and fold my clothes and put them away.

As I was working this morning, I was struck with these questions...

How am I living my life without Bubba?

How is it possible that he is no longer here with me?

Where is my companion, 

my friend, 

the one who helps me with the "man" things,

my dinner partner,

the one who always took such good care of me?

I still can't believe he's gone.

Sometimes at night, I imagine that he is upstairs looking at a Braves game.

And then I remember he is not upstairs.

I am alone...

trying to figure out life without him.

It is hard.

Nothing can prepare you for this loss.

Nothing.

Grief is like falling into a deep dark hole and then trying to climb out.

You can see the light but it's hard to reach it.

You get close and then you fall back.

again and again.

One of life's hardest trials.

The cold hard truth is that I miss him terribly every day.

Could it be getting harder?

Yes.

Will it get better?

Probably.

Will I keep climbing?

Yes.

💔

This is the verse that I memorized for Bible study tomorrow...

"You, however, 

continue in the things you have learned and been convinced of,

 knowing from whom you have learned them."

2 Timothy 3:14

I love that verse.

 God's word is where I stay.

It is a continuous fountain of blessings for me.