roller coaster ride

I had to get out the tiny pieces of paper again.

My thoughts tumble out early in the morning after I've had my coffee.

You regular readers of my journal have followed my writings about the sudden death of my husband back in February.

You have seen the ups and downs.

These past days and weeks have been a "virtual" roller coaster ride for me.

Thankfully my "ups" are lasting longer than my "downs" the further I travel.

Hopefully, soon, I will level out.

God is teaching me SO much through this sorrow...

things I would never know outside of this trial.

I used to think that my main goal in life was to be happy.

To enjoy life.

To be carefree.

To avoid pain at all costs.

But none of those things lead to true joy.

True joy is only found in Jesus Christ.

True joy is having a relationship with Him that transcends all else in your life.

In Him there is great joy even in the midst of great sorrow.

In Christ is deep, abiding peace and rest in your soul.

Thank you, dear readers,

 for coming with me on this journey of sorrow.

Those of you who faithfully read my "words" in this journal 

probably know me better than anyone else. 

This is where I share my heart.

💔 (broken heart emoji)

Sometimes I have a fleeting thought that Bubba will get in touch with me...

that he will tell me all about the "present heaven" and of the glories that are there.

Sadly for me, he can't do that.

He has gone on ahead.

He knows things I can only dream of knowing.

I've written this before...

 I wouldn't call him back to this earth.

I rejoice with him every day that he is with Jesus.

For now, I read God's word and His truth speaks to me and I am satisfied. 

I look forward to the day I will see Bubba again in heaven.

 Oh, what a day that will be!