why is this so hard for me?

Bear with me tonight.

I have to get this out of the inner reaches of my soul.

 

With Moma it was easier.

She got sick...

she got progressively worse.

Her normal thoughts and senses left her.

She went to the nursing home

and died peacefully after a few months.

So sad,

but God's mercy toward her in the end was welcomed.

She didn't have to suffer anymore.

Still miss her terribly,

but now with fond memories and loving thoughts.

 

Daddy, on the other hand,

is still in full control.

He suffered a small pin stroke a couple of weeks ago,

spent a few nights in the hospital

and was sent to short term rehabilitation.

He cannot wait to get home and get back to his life there.

He looks great and is doing so well, but,

there was damage,

to his balance,

his eyesight,

his cognitive abilites.

 

I talked to the therapist today.

He doesn't think that he is able to live alone anymore.

My heart breaks for him.

 

I just can't help being sad...

And Dad is not going to let go easily.

I am praying for widom because I don't have any on this.

 

Or,

Maybe I do

and just don't want to face it.

 

"Do not cast me off in the time of old age;

do not forsake me when my strength fails."

Psalm 71:9