Thursday, October 30, 2014

leap for joy

Thirty five years ago next month
after undergoing a traumatic, 
 life-changing surgery,
I was left with a most unwelcome gift,

When I first experienced depression,
I didn't even know what it was.
Aches and pains, yes,
but deep down inside a sensation of utter
hopelessness and despair.

My life changed, for sure it did.
I could no longer handle the load of teaching school.
I ran the gambit of anything that would or possibly could help.
Nothing did.

Moving out of town,
finding a church that taught the truth,
being often in God's word,
new friends.....
because of all of these,
with the Holy Spirit working in my heart,
very slowly,
I began to get better.
I started to feel normal again,
not cured completely,
but better,
and better was so very wonderful 
after all of that suffering.

Last year,
about this time of the year,
and continuing on until this day,
the depression returned.

I deal with it the same....
no medicine or doctors now,
only God's word and His promises,
trusting Him to sustain me until I see Him face to face.
My husband's patient endurance 
 and the numerous and beautiful times
when he
 "washes me with the word."

I saw this quote from Spurgeon today....
I seized it as a message from heaven.

"Oh that my divine Master would now come
 and do what I want to do but cannot, 
namely, make every child of God here leap for joy."
(for all believers surely suffer in some way)

I share my heart with you tonight.
Please know that I am most richly blessed.
This is the trial God has chosen for me to get me ready for heaven.
I will not suffer with depression
and I will be able to
leap for joy,

(*not my picture)

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