the shot

I first noticed it while I was packing my things to move from Pinebrook Court.

After I fell and broke my collarbone my knee started giving me pause.

What is this strange feeling?

I've never had any problems with my knees.

A big move.

Lots of stairs at the apartment.

Another big move.

Oh no!

I could feel it clicking in and out of place.

It hurt.

It wasn't getting any better.

In fact, 

it was getting worse.

On Wednesday at 9:00 AM my doctor said,

"I can make that pain go away."

She left and came back with a huge needle

 that when shoved into my knee caused a lot of blood to come gushing out.

I gulped and wished I had not seen that.

It took a while,

 but the bleeding finally stopped.

I walked out of that office a changed woman.

The knee pain was mostly gone,

but I was embarking on a totally crazy experience.

I was high as a kite,

completely wired,

amazingly able to sustain an incredible amount of nonstop activity.

My thoughts and my words were functioning at an extremely high level.

Amanda was amazed at the intensity of my texts.

I felt like I could change the world.

I had never had a shot of cortisone before.

Hopefully, I will not ever have another.

I couldn't sleep,

couldn't relax,

Stayed wired for 48 hours.

Then yesterday I crashed.

Slept for two hours in the middle of the day and felt drugged when I woke up.

Depression hit hard after that.

Will I ever feel normal again?

On the morning after the shot,

 I saw a little hill outside of my bedroom window.

It is just just a big pile of black dirt on a construction site.

It's been there ever since I moved in.

 Overnight it had grown grass and become a sun-drenched thing of beauty that needed to be photographed and shared with the world.

I post the picture here because it kinda sums up my shot odyssey.

Over the top fascination with the mundane of life.

*My body just doesn't do well when foreign substances are injected into my bloodstream.