after three years ~ Bubba

Grief never goes away.

It lingers in your heart long after it descends upon you.

At first, it is overwhelming.

You go to a place you have never been before.

At that time, three years ago, I was in disbelief,

denial they call it,

nothing was the same,

everything had changed in my world.

I was surrounded by friends and family,

but was completely alone.

Nothing made sense.

I must have appeared to all around me as a walking zombie.

As the days passed and the people went home and I was alone,

reality set in.

Bubba was gone and I would have to either give up,

sit down and do nothing ever again,

cry and lament my loss in a sea of depression,

live in fear of the unknown,

complain and grumble about my fate,

wallow in the sea of unbelief or...

find a way to live again.

At the time, neither choice seemed to make any sense.

I knew I couldn't give up.

But, I didn't seem able to move forward either.

I was stuck in the chaos of a brain that had gone numb.

I couldn't read ~ my passion.

I wasn't able to make a decision on which way to proceed.

Then Covid hit.

Fear.

Isolation.

No Church services.

No fellowship.

Completely and utterly alone most of the time.

To be continued...