"Have you discovered,
as I have,
that our emotions upon becoming a widow have an intensity we never experienced before?
Grief, loneliness, anger, disappointment ~ these are not new emotions to us.
What took me by surprise was the power,
the all-consuming grip,
the sudden shock of emotion rolling over me,
literally rendering me unable to function for a moment or sometimes longer."
This quote is from a book Erika got for me.
From One Widow to Another
by Miriam Neff
The title of this blog and the words above greeted me on the very first page.
Finally, somebody understands and has put into words my heart.
This past weekend was hard.
My computer went black screen again on Friday.
As I was looking through my texts to find my computer guy,
I came upon the last texts between Bubba and I, just days before he died.
As I read through the thread,
the reality of my loss hit me like a ton of bricks.
Death is so final.
There's no going back hoping for a different ending.
He was here with me, real and strong, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
You don't get over a death like that in a hurry.
This book assures me that there is no set end time for grief.
I still compare my journey to a roller coaster ride,
and I have never liked roller coasters.
Highs and lows, ups and downs,
holding on for dear life,
many times screaming out for God to help me.
🎢
In the meantime...
My hope is in God's word.
My reason to keep living is our family and my sweet friends and being a part of the church.
My eternal life is in Jesus.
My joy is knowing I will see Bubba again.
*My computer got fixed this morning!
I'm so thankful!
Things keep breaking and I keep having to figure out a way to get them going again.
I can only write my blog on this computer,
and when I can't post it makes me sad.
I ❤️ to write.
Thanks for reading.
c
No comments:
Post a Comment