my dream vase

Yesterday,

 I sat here at my desk and wrote a whole long blog that I had second thoughts about posting.

This was the picture I used with that post.

Of all that I shared yesterday, this vase is the only thing that I will keep.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Some things are for me alone to ponder and grapple with.

Some things are too deep to dredge out to the world.

God and me!

They are for prayer and deep meditation on the truth of God's word.

Some things I just have to accept as what He has for me to make me into who He wants me to be.

My fears and anxieties are very real 

but maybe I shouldn't try to make my people understand.

So, the vase.

I love ribbons and bows and ruffles.

I love fresh-cut flowers.

To be able to put beautiful blooms into a vase with a bow is a dream.

Amanda knows the lady who makes these vases.

If I should ever get to own one I would be so happy.

She's checking on it for me.

After church today we dined at Panera.

When I pulled out of my parking space I saw this little guy staring at me.

Lizards are one of my worst nightmares.

These thoughts were tumbling around in my brain... 

"What should I do?"

"Should I call David?"

"What if there is some way he (the lizard) can get inside the van?"

"How am I going to get out of the van when I get home?"

"Why did God make lizards anyway?"

When I got home,

I climbed over the console to the other side.

Even though he (the lizard) had disappeared

 I figured my chances of not encountering him face-to-face were better this way.

I got out safely and thanked God for that.

Now here is my dilemma.

I'm going back to church at 5.

It's our monthly read through the Bible in a year meeting.

I don't know where he (the lizard) went.

Did he blow off the van?

Did he somehow get inside the van?

Is he ensconced under the windshield wipers destined to emerge and stare at me again?

What if I open the door and he jumps on me?

Should I do the whole climb over the console thing again?

Amanda said that was dangerous and what must the neighbors think?

I've got a little time before I have to leave.

🦎👀😬

It's 4:45.

I'm heading back to church.

I'm gonna be brave.