silly picture

I forgot to share this silly picture of my grandchildren down at Juno Beach. 😎

This is the most interesting group of kids you can find anywhere.

They make me so happy.

They are kind and loving and creative and just perfect. 

God knew who I needed to help me get through old age and losing Bubba.

I am beyond thankful!

Nothing has happened with blogger yet.

Thought I would get this last one in before the end of the month when they informed me that things would change.

It is extremely hot.

We have been warned not to be outside for too long.

The deer came again last night,

and I found a house that I like...more on that later.

Four months today since Bubba died.

Time is moving on.

Our country is on fire.

But God is in control.

Nothing is happening that He isn't aware of.

Keep the faith.

Keeping reading His word.

Keep praying.

Trust Him in all things.

Never give in to fear and doubt. 

Keep believing!

❤️

Cathy & Bubba ~ Bubba & Cathy ~ Always

Bubba would be so proud.

Everything in the yard that he planted is springing forth.

Finally, the hydrangeas are blooming.

They are small but beautiful.

The crepe myrtles, his lemon trees, the geraniums are all in their glory.

Makes me miss him so much.

I wish he could see them.

I want to believe that he can!

My family has been talking to me about moving closer to them.

I have even looked at a few houses.

Found an amazing place on the marsh with an incredible view.

But, it will be so hard to leave our home.

Of all the houses we've lived in,

this has been my favorite.

Bubba let me fill it with so many beautiful things.

It is perfect.

It is filled with us, who we were together, the life we made.

It is Cathy & Bubba,

Bubba & Cathy.

I'm praying for wisdom.

I think I need a little more time before I can leave. 

I will have to pare down, get rid of many things that mean so much to me.

I will be okay.

I know that God will go before me and show me the way.

I just can't leave our last home quite yet.

🏡

I've been getting this message from blogger.

Nothing has changed yet.

Writing this blog is one of my favorite things.

I hope this change won't be a problem.

If I disappear from the blogosphere you'll know why.

✍

So many changes.

Today has been hard.

Keeping on keeping on.

I think most of the time that I'm getting better.

Just not right now.

the story of this kitty

His name is Sirius Black from Harry Potter.

He belongs to Jake and Eli.

I like to take pictures of him.

Most every morning I text a photo with a message to my grandboys

down there in South Florida.

He, Sirius, is quite photogenic.

Sirius came to live with us back at Thanksgiving. 

Bubba had serious reservations about welcoming him into our home,

but I won the scuffle and the kitty moved in.

It was touch and go for a while but he (the cat) ultimately won both of our hearts.

❤️❤️

I call him Artis T "Tail"er, 

Artis T for short,

 among various and sundry other silly names.

I never call him Sirius Black.

Most of the time I just call him Kitty.

Let me digress to why he came to live here at #6.

Back at the beginning of November 2019, 

a toilet malfunction caused the Hollingsworth house to flood 

with serious consequences.

All residents had to vacate including the cat.

That is what brought him to us.

"Oh Mom," said Amanda, "it will only be a few months and then we will bring him home."

Well, seven months have passed and Sirius Black is still here.

When Bubba died, everyone decided that the kitty needed to stay with me a little longer

to keep me company and help me not be so sad and alone.

After my beautiful white cat Priscilla of Tyrone passed on,

(most of you remember her as Da Guwa) 

I didn't want another cat in my house.

They shed and I have to clean the litter box and they start trying to boss you around.

But this one has taken over my heart.

The truth is though,

He IS Jake and Eli's kitty.

He needs to be reunited with his real family.

I have become very attached to him!

He is well behaved and sometimes when he looks at me I just melt.

He loves me and I love him!

He is the perfect cat for me but he needs to go home.

I will be okay!

The boys need their pet!

Jake and Eli made a huge sacrifice for their Grammy in her grief,.

I will be forever grateful to them.

*I am waiting for another favorite picture of mine to make it's way from my phone to my pictures on my computer.

It is the reason I call him "Tailer."

You'll understand when you see it if it ever gets here.

It just came...

"Tailer"

strengthen me according to Thy word

I found this verse today,

 early this morning before I left for church.

Since Bubba died I've been much in the Psalms.

"My soul weeps because of grief; 

Strengthen me according to Thy word."

Psalm 119:28

I am getting better.

The raw spots are starting to heal.

I'm beginning to think about where I will go from here.

But then weekends like this come...

Father's Day and Amanda's birthday,

The death of my husband and my children's Dad and my grandchildren's granddaddy

devastates my soul.

I am filled with grief and loneliness and a profound sense of loss.

That is when I run to the Bible.

I beg God to strengthen me with His word and He does.

The only thing that makes sense is to see all of this from God's perspective.

I ask for faith to believe that His promises are true.

God's ways are perfect and He knows what I need.

His word calms me and helps me face another day.

His word is living and powerful, you know.

It never fails to lift me out of myself.

❤️

It's pouring rain just outside of my window as I write...

one of those afternoon storms that come suddenly, out of nowhere,

 to break the intense heat of the day.

I love them but...

The thunder scared the kitty and he jumped off of my bed and ran.

Then the power went off just long enough to make the digital clocks go crazy.

Then I lost the internet.

Thankfully, I didn't lose this post I was in the middle of writing.

Okay,

the storm is over and the sun is back out.

That was quick and powerful.

Kitty has disappeared to his hiding spot.

Kitty is not brave.

🐈

🌧🌧🌧

🌞

to amanda on her birthday

Here we are at the beach just months before our lives would change forever.

We never pictured a life without your Dad.

His sudden death was not even a thought in our minds.

You have been a constant in my life since the last day of February.

You came as soon as I called and said,

"It doesn't look good."

Thank you for holding me up when I could barely stand,

for talking for me when I didn't have any words,

for providing for me what I didn't know I needed, 

for telling me the truth when I didn't want to hear it,

for walking with me in the

 "Valley of the shadow of death."

You came again this past Monday.

You've made so many trips up and down I-95.

You said to me,

"Mom you're getting better."

I said back, 

"I know."

Your heart got broken too that day almost four months ago. 

You are so much like your dad.

You loved him so much.

He adored his sweet little girl.

Thank you, Thank you, dear daughter of mine.

Happy Birthday!

I Love You!

Mom

❤️

(photo by eli)

heavenly weather

Short post!

Amanda is here.

We are celebrating her birthday.

Going to Pearl's tonight with David and Erika.

I'm at the very top of my roller coaster!

It is past the middle of June in, by this time muggy, hot Savannah, Georgia.

God has sent a wave of cool air with no humidity.

We have had a fire in the fireplace for the last two mornings.

The cat is at the top of his roller coaster too.

❤️

Thank You Jesus, Thank You, Thank You!

You and You alone are worthy to be praised.

All good gifts come from You.

To God be ALL the glory, great things You have done.

i know I'm obsessed but...

...my yard brings me so much pleasure.

My friend came yesterday.

He cut and edged and trimmed bushes and made everything picture perfect.

I  put out three more bales of pine straw.

I can't stop staring. 

I go from window to window to look at it from every angle.

My yard is gorgeous if I do say so myself.

Getting ready to head back outside because the weather is delightful.

Feels like spring to me.

So far the deer haven't come back.

I have replanted what they destroyed.

I don't know the name of this plant.

I thought it was Pamplovia,

 but I can't find it on my computer so that's probably not right.

Anyway, I love my yard!

It makes me so happy.

My God and my Father never forgets to bless my heart,

to calm my spirit, 

to make me gasp at the glory and wonder of His truth.

I need to be constantly reminded, as I miss Bubba every day, 

that he is in heaven with Jesus.

His passing from this life mid-afternoon on Saturday, February 29, 2020,

was not random.

God knew the last day of his life from eternity past.

In the fullness of his days, He called him home.

It was his time.

He finished his race.

He went home peacefully, quietly, quickly, without a backward glance.

He left everything behind. 

He didn't need one thing from this world to make his passage.

The only needful thing was his faith in Jesus Christ's shed blood on his behalf.

I saw this on Facebook this morning.

It took my breath away.

Sudden Death is Sudden Glory.

Charles Spurgeon

My husband is not dead.

He is more alive than he has ever been.

I miss him but I am excited for him as well.

I think about where he is and what he is doing all the time!

If you haven't already, get yourself a copy of the book

Heaven

by Randy Alcorn.

Read it and then read it again and again.

I can't put it down.

It makes me long to be there.

❤️

i am going to be okay

As I write this afternoon, there is a wild, raging thunderstorm swirling.

The skies are dark,

the clouds are heavy with moisture,

lightning is cracking near the window,

thunder is rolling.

I usually love storms.

They excite me!

I have flowers to plant,

the rest of the pine straw to put out.

I need to get the guest suite ready for Amanda who is coming next week,

but for some reason, I am almost paralyzed with fear.

It's been building all week, this anxiety of mine.

The hard, cold reality is, 

Bubba's passing has laid me low.

Don't ever think that the death of your spouse is something you over quickly.

As the days and weeks progress, the loss gets harder and harder.

The first times are composed mainly of shock.

You run on adrenaline.

You can't quite grasp reality.

You hold out hope that it was all just a dream and the horror will end, but it doesn't.

You do stupid things because you can't help yourself.

(I have thrown two very important checks away)

You reason with yourself,

 "If I could just see him, just talk to him one more time."

But I can't, and it's hard, and I cry.

I like the TOBYMAC#SPEAKLIFE quote above.

It is simple, short.

It speaks volumes to me.

MY ANXIETY IS LYING TO ME.
I AM LOVED.

I AM GOING TO BE OKAY.

I can handle that message.

I just need to believe it right now in the midst of this storm.

I am going to be okay again.

It's just gonna take some time.

God loves me.

My family and friends love me too.

I am thankful, but just very, very sad.

*Missing the one who always came to rescue me!

cathy

bless the Lord, O my soul

"Bless the Lord, O my soul; 

And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And forget not all His benefits."

Psalm 103: 1&2

Every morning before I pray, I read a portion of the Psalms from God's word.

Yesterday I came to Psalm 103.

The verses above took my breath away.

Bubba always quoted them to me...

sometimes before we prayed, sometimes at random times.

I hear his voice when I read them.

To me, these verses are the epitome of overcoming life's anxieties.

When we remember to bless God and thank Him for all of His mercies,

we are allowing Jesus to heal our broken heart.

He is sovereign over all of life's circumstances.

We accept His rule over us and let Him lead and guide as He wishes.

Thank you, Bubba for always pointing me to Scripture.

Even though you aren't here with me anymore,

you have left me your words from His word that smooth my anxious spirit.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!!!

hero of the cul de sac

Two short things....

# 1

Evidently, I am the hero of the cul de sac for killing the copperhead snake last night.

#2

I put out 3 and 1/8th bales of pine straw this evening.

The front yard looks SO much better.

The other six plus bales are still in Bubba's van.

A neighbor came over to talk about the snake killing by me and ended my work.

Oh, and one more thing...

The deer didn't come to eat my newly planted flowers last night.

Deer repellent must've worked.

Vinca.

Tired but happy.

Thankful for God's good blessings,

for beautiful flowers,

for church this morning,

and for His amazing grace in my life.

Oh, and,

Lucy brought me a gift this morning at church.

I'll tell you what it is next time I write.

Somedays I think I may just make it after all!

right back at it

I made a quick trip into town this morning

 with the sole purpose of buying some flowers to replace the ones the deer looted last week.

I came away with theses vincas and 10 bales of pine straw.

The rest of my weekend will consist of making things right in my yard.

I also purchased these deterrents...

I already had this Spray Away.

Now I need to figure out how to use it.

It's muggy hot and close to raining but...

I will at least get started just as soon as I finish eating my banana and hydrating myself.

On a sort of side note, there are things I cannot do.

I bought a new spray hose nozzle, but I can't get the old one off.

No strength in my wrists.

Oh well, I'll just wait for someone that does have strength in their wrists to happen along.

Maybe Harry?

Harry is strong and mighty.

He can climb to the top of the highest tree before you even realize he left the ground.

My faithful and very knowledgeable yard man fertilized and cut my grass two weeks ago.

It is a lush green carpet today.

Some things are easy when someone else helps you out!

🥀🦌

Addendum to my earlier post:

So I was working in the yard, filling a lawn bag with debris.

I reached down to pick up what I thought was a stick.

Ya'll, it was a small copperhead snake.

I came inside to get a shovel.

He was still right where I left him.

It took quite a fight between him and me but I finally killed him.

Tina's dad came over to help and he threw him down the storm drain.

Oh my...maybe my yard work is over and I still have ten bales of pine straw in my vehicle.

Really scared me.

😟

it's been several years...

...since the deer came and ravaged my flowers.

They chose to come last night.

They did quite a bit of damage.

I had expressed to those closest to me my fear of the "people" looters breaking in my house during the night.

I didn't expect the looters to be deer.

🦌

I cannot adequately express how much happiness my flowers bring.

If you are a faithful reader you probably know.

I love looking at my flowers, 🌹

I love taking care of them.

They are special gifts from God.

I'm feeling overwhelmed right now.

I guess you can tell.

Each day seems to bring new problems that need to be solved.

Some are bigger, some not so much.

But they need to be dealt with, need to be resolved.

The air conditioner repairman is here as I write.

I am awaiting his assessment.

Until then...I press on.

I have an advocate in Jesus.

He knows my anxious heart and He cares about my struggles.

He intercedes for me to my Father in heaven and His spirit is in my heart.

I will make it to the other side.

Things will get easier.

Life goes on in spite of everything.

Still thankful!

God is good all the time.

Moving forward.

Trusting in Him.

He has me by my right hand leading and guiding me home.

I praise Him for every single one of the blessing He lavishes on me.

I'm thankful for the challenges that make me stronger.

I feel your prayers.

My support system is stronger than iron.

This last paragraph makes me smile.

😊

cleaning & learning

Sometimes I just have to clean.

I took on this project a few days ago.

First I wiped down all of the chairs and the high chair twice.

Then I moved the table and all of the chairs, got down on my hands and knees, and scrubbed the floor.

Not once, not twice, but three times.

I scrubbed until the floor under the table where we eat was squeaky clean. 

Then I let everything dry.

Today I put new "Magic Sliders" under the legs of the chairs so we wouldn't scratch the floor.

This is how it looks right now.

Tomorrow I'll put everything back together again.

I have a great feeling of accomplishment of a job well done.

(I don't do this often enough!)

👏(clapping hands)

So...there is something wrong with all of my air conditioner units.

There are three of them

I called the repairman and he is coming out tomorrow afternoon.

I can only imagine...(how much it will cost 🙁)

I'm thinking about moving into my beach condo.

Am I crazy?

I was reading in the Psalms this morning and God showed me this...

"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Thy consolations delight my soul."

Psalm 94:19

There is a lot of crazy going on right now.

I have so much to learn and I am the girl who is scared to make a phone call.

Sometimes I just don't think I am going to make it,

but then I remember,

God has brought me this far.

He's not going to forsake me now.

My learning curve is huge.

Thankful for God's word which is full of wisdom, grace, and mercy every day.

Thank you all for continued prayers!!!

I need them now more than ever!