my nurse.....

yesterday at the hospital was no nonsense....
all business,
no fun.
I needed you, Lou!!!

her..."have you eaten anything since midnight last night?"
me..."yes, I stopped by the Sunnyside Up and had sausage and hashbrowns right before I came here to have this stomach surgery even though I had been warned 100 times not to do that."

her...."do you have anything loose in your mouth?
me...."only these couple of teeth that got knocked out just before I got here."

her..."do you know why you are here today?"
me..."I haven't the faintest idea."

her..."take off all of you clothes and put on this gown..it opens in the back."
me..."I think it would be more stylish if it opens in the front."

her..."do you have any decent veins?"
me..."I'm quite proud of all of my veins, thank you."

her..."stick.....oh no, I lost your vein, where did it go?"
me..."oh no, this nurse is incompetent and I can't run and hide."

her..."would you like a warm blanket?'
me..."yes, with every fiber of my being."

After laying there for a very long time
I hear them talking that a mistake has been made.
I am not where I am supposed to be
and Dr. Mark has been waiting for 30 minutes.

Off we go...
me laying on a stretcher
hooked up to every wire and device
known in the medical world
through unknown corriders at the speed of sound.
Finally, there is my doctor,
standing by the row of coke machines
talking on his cell phone
waiting for me to arrive.

After assuring everyone that yes I taught Mark in the third grade,
things began to happen rather rapidly.

The last thing I remember is someone saying,
"Here comes the happy juice."
After that all was bliss.

cathy