where is that cathy?

I am all alone in Washington, DC. Bubba left for Savannah in a blaze of glory earlier today. So here I am.

I dread having to make that long drive to Savannah again.

I wonder what everybody would think if I just stayed here? Would anybody miss me? Would they say, where is that Cathy? Maybe or maybe not........

renewing the mind

It comes in walking on little cat's feet and then it pounces. I don't see it coming until it has completely consumed me. It is no stranger, I recognize it immediately. It's name is depression.

Before I had nothing to fight with. It would take me down into the depths of despair. It hurts physically and emotionally. The pain can be unbearable. I had prayed to be delievered from its clutches, but God didn't do it like that. He chose to keep me in it and sustain me through it.

God has been merciful to me over these last thirty years of suffering. He has very gently and ever so slowly taught me how to think about things from His perspective. It has literally taken years and lots of slides down the hill, but his truth is healing my heart.

Depression pounced on me today. I was not surprised as there are several huge things going on in our life right now. Everytime I start to despair I remember how big God is and small I am. I don't go down anymore, I've learned to look up.

I remember how he made the universe and hung all the stars, how the same power with which He spoke and created the earth and raised Jesus from the dead is available to me through His Holy Spirit to be able to overcome any thoughts of despair that may come to me.

It is God's Word that makes the difference. I stay in it because it keeps me sane. Everything makes sense when I don't question God.....He is sovereign over all things and whatever He brings into my life is for my good and His glory. My lifelong battle with depression has been a good thing. It has taught me to seek God.

I cried with Aunt Dottie today when she asked me to pray that God would take her. It is hard to see these loved ones at the end of life so miserable, but I can't pray that prayer. All of their days have been numbered by our loving God and I know that as long as they have breath God has a purpose for them being here....and it could very well be unto salvation.

I will pray that God will give them grace tonight and mercy, that He will watch over our loved ones and keep them safe and fill them with His peace and rest. God call them unto Yourself if their souls are not yet Yours. May they rest well with a quiet assurance of Your blessed salvation and be ready to meet You on that glorius day when You call them home!

Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things." (the remedy)

it was bound to happen

The time was 4:00 am on Saturday morning. The loud crying came from Jake's room. He had fallen off of his big boy bed and wedged himself between the bed and the wall. Mark picked him up and put him back in the bed. It seems the bed moves around on the hardwood floors when Jake moves. I think he may be getting a clue that he is not in a crib anymore.

David, Erika, and Lucy are in Wisconsin doing summer camp with his youth group. He called just now to say all is well and that they have a good place to sleep......Lucy has her own little room to sleep in. Of course she is the little darling of camp and spends much of her time in the hands of the students.

When Amanda was here Jake's bed was put in our big bathroom so that we could shut the door and turn on the overhead fan. He was in virtual seclusion. Sometimes we put Eli in the other bathroom. Holding "it" until the babies woke up was always a running joke.

As our family has always loved to "hole" up together in one room, this was nothing new. It's called "sacrificing for the good of the cause." When our grandkids visit there is always at least one of them stuffed into a closet or a bathroom somewhere.

After church and a quick lunch at home today it got very dark and started raining.....the potential for a wonderful nap became very real......and it was a great one.

Amanda and I went the whole time she was here like racehorses and workhorses having fun and keeping up with the boys. My body has been catching up on its rest this weekend. It's back on 95 again for me on Wednesday so this is good.

For this and so much more I thank the One who makes it all possible!

the big boy bed

There has never been a crib for Eli....a bed that he could call his own. He stayed in the bassinet until he completely filled it up....then he was moved to a pack-n-play. He never complained and he probably never knew that there was a problem.

Jake was still in the white Jenny Lind crib when Eli was born and saw no reason to be displaced.

Before Amanda, Jake, and Eli left for Savannah I ordered a cute little white youth bed and sent it to Louisville. It is the same size as a crib (it uses a crib mattress) but is close to the floor and has half railings. Mark was to move the crib to Eli's room and set up the new big boy bed for Jake.

On arrival at 12:45 am Friday morning in Louisville Jake was placed by his "dran-daddy" in his new bed. He was fast asleep. So far it is as if he is still in the crib. He stays in the bed until someone comes and gets him out. He happily goes for his nap and he has never acknowledged that there has been any change

I wonder how long it will take him to figure out that he is not in the crib anymore and that he is free as a bird?

Bubba got home at 7:00 pm last evening. He had traveled over 1300 miles in a little over 24 hours. He was spent to say the least. He seems okay today, but it's too soon to tell. The magnitude of the trip could hit him at any time. I hope the shrimp creole that I am making tonight will make everything better.

This is my 50th blog and 306 people have looked at my profile. Thanks for reading!

"in the last days"

In Scripture the "last days" are the days from Christ's resurrection until He comes back to the earth to claim His own and finish His work of redemption. Interestingly, we are now living in the last days, but so was the apostle Paul who lived 2000 years ago.

The Bible says in II Timothy 3:1 that "There will be terrible times in the last days." Verse 2 goes on to say that "people will be lovers of themselves," and the list that follows will chill you to the bone and explain why the circumstances that surround living in this world are so difficult.

I've read and heard these verses all of my life:

Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, what is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to them, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets."

There it is included in what Jesus quotes as the "great and foemost commandment." We should love our neighbor (the people in our lives) with the same intensity that we love ourselves.

How much do we love ourselves? With every grain and fiber in our being. We take care of, pamper, praise, justify, seek pleasure for ourselves. We meet our needs excessively, and turn away from the needs of others. We protect our time, our money, and our resources, and our hearts as if they were vessels of gold.

This is the fight of our lives as Christians. The Scriptures are full of admonitions to "think more highly of others than we do ourselves."

This is a daunting truth when we see ourselves as we truly are. We cannot stop this endless cycle on our own. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit working in the heart of a believer that the work of selflessness can begin, and it takes a whole lifetime to work itself out in our hearts.

Our own selfish heart is the hardest thing we have to conquer.

riding in cars with boys

At one o:clock this afternoon they were gone....just like that. I said good-bye up here in the apartment and let them go. I didn't want to be boo-hooing in the parking garage and making it harder for them to get away.

I could tell from the first call that Bubba needed his navigator.....me. He made a wrong turn and added a couple of hours onto an already brutal trip. Eli was crying in the background.

The second call found them at a Wendy's. I'm glad I wasn't along for that dinner. They had stopped at a Hampton Inn earlier to warm Eli's bottle and the clerk wouldn't let them use the microwave or the bathroom.....said it wasn't a public facility. Bubba, who is a 5 star, diamond, gold, and platinum Hilton Honors man will be making a call. Eli was screaming in the background.

The third call was from a gas station. Amanda was changing Jake's diaper and Bubba was pumping gas when a tremendous thunderstorm came up suddenly without any warning.
Bubba yelled for everyone to get in the van as the cover over the station was about to blow off.
Amanda put Jake's diaper on sideways and threw him back in his carseat. They were safely watching the storm from inside the van. Eli was wailing in the backseat.

They had made it to Charlestown, West Virginia, with about four hours to go. They said they would call me back when they got out of the storm. I can only hope that baby Eli will soon drift off to sleep. As for Jake, he could care less that his diaper is on sideways....he has his Einstein videos to watch. You never hear a peep out of him.

Bubba will turn around and drive back home tomorrow.....that van will be eerily quiet.

Jesus please watch over them and keep them safe......thank you Lord!

Life is such a hoot for us....it is a continual circus of fun.

partings

It's all so amazing......the miracle of love.

a crooked smile
a soft touch
the way he says my name
that swagger when he walks
the way he grips my finger
when he says "I wuv you"
his little bursts of anger
his tiny feet and toes
the places to get sugar
using my legs as a highway for his cars
asking for a cookie
kissing me goodnight
the way he looked today in his preppy new outfit
breaking into smiles of wonder
just at the sight of my face
head on my shoulder snuggling in
just the smell of your baby skin

Jake and Eli you will never know what this time has meant to me.....

they leave on thursday

Bubba, Amanda, and my precious grandsons will leave on Thursday afternoon to head back home to Louisville. I will stay behind, left with the very empty and quiet apartment.

It will be hard......I have gotten very attached, but that is the lot of grandparents. You love them and hold them close for a time and then send them back to their real home. I know that Mark has missed them and I thank him for letting them stay for such a long visit. I pray that this has been a fruitfful time of study for him.

Amanda has spent a lot of time shopping for things to sell on e-bay. She has a lot of work to do when she gets home. We have found some great bargins on clothes and shoes for Jake....the wonder boy. I don't buy much for Eli as he wears Jake's much loved hand-me downs. The favorite toys were a stuffed version of "rocket" of Einstein fame and a child size grocery cart.

Amanda has a wonderful new hair-do, she had a make-up makeover at Sephora, and she has spent her birthday money on a few new clothes. She looks great and she feels great and I am so thankful for everyone who prayed to get her where she is.

For her birthday her dad and I gifted her with a new digital camera. We now have about two hundred beautiful pictures as memories of our time together.

We took everybody to one of our favorite restaurants on Sunday evening. "Sweetwater" is the best. We feasted on prime rib and crab cakes and the boys were perfect. Eli drifted off to sleep just when our meals came. Jake ate his french fries on his brand new Einstein placemate which kept him fully entertained.

Today we went Chinese at PF Changs. It was so good. Everything went well until the end of the meal when Jake grabbed a handful of garlic noodles and stuffed them in his mouth. They must have set his mouth on fire because he started crying really loudly. We gave him some lemonade to cool him down and then he reached for more. We quickly exited at that time.

It's funny about this blog.....people are always telling me how much they love it, but they rarely respond. My neice wrote me an e-mail today to say that reading it is better than reading a book. I like that compliment!!!

I don't write to get repsonses....I write for the sheer pleasure of writing. Anyway....thanks so much for reading.

the house on hilton head island

There's just something about it......it is behind the gates of Sea Pines. It is very large and comfortable and inviting. Outside of the sliding glass doors there is a private swimming pool. It's just a short walk down the path to the ocean. It seems secluded even though it is not.

The summer after high school I and the boy I thought I was in love with at the time would drive to Hilton Head on the weekend. There wasn't much there then....just long stretches of wide beach down to the rolling blue waves of the sea. We would build a fire and sit around and completely enjoy each other until late in the evening. (There were other couples too).

Hilton Head was a deserted island then...a place of magic and young love. It will always hold a special place in my heart.

Things have certainly changed on the island now. It is thriving with too many cars and T-shirt shops and way too many people, but somehow the house in Sea Pines has the same charm for me as those long ago days on the beach.

In less than two weeks we will again gather at the house on Hilton Head for our annual summer stay. We will share it with Robbie and Mary Ann and Lisa and Jeff. There will be lots of laughter and fun....I can hardly wait.

The reason that I like it so much is that I can completely relax. I can sit on the beach under an umbrella and read all day long. I can walk back up the path and take a dip in the pool. I can eat when I want. The are no schedules. I don't have to leave the house at all.

It is a true vacation.......a time away from the craziness of life.

Kind of like when I was a teenager sitting on the deserted beach laughing as if there were no tomorrow.

hillary's house

We finally found it.....after several nights and several trips up and down Massachusetts Ave. we spotted the right road. Bubba and Keith had been taken there by a friend when the Crosby's were in town several weeks ago. Bubba knew that it was close to the Naval Observatory where Vice President Cheney resides, but we just couldn't find the right road.

Why would we care about seeing Hillary's house? I guess it was just curiosity. She certainly holds no appeal to us, but we were sure glad when Bubba got the correct address in his hand.

We knew which one was hers even though there were no numbers on the door. There was a big, black secret service van parked out front with two guys inside. There was also a big, blue portable toilet for the guys to relieve themselves if need be. For their sake we pretended to be looking for the Hellenistic Learning Center which was located across the street.

I don't think we fooled those agents though when we turned around and came back for a second look. No one is that interested in Greek studies. Bubba said you can bet they recorded the make and model of our car and our license plate.

It was a red brick traditional style two story house sitting close to the street. Very ordinary looking and in keeping with it's location in Georgetown, one of the wealthiest area in DC. The only aberation was that all of the windows had black-out paper instead of curtains or blinds. It was probably bullet proof as well. There was absolutely no way to see inside.

Amanda and I thought that she was probably home, but Bubba guessed that she was on the campaign trial. Who cares....we got to see her house and now we know where it is.

John Kerry and John Edwards also live on the same street. Kerry's house had four black BMW's parked out front.

It's fun every now and then to see how the rich and famous live. I just hope that none of these become any more famous than they are right now!!!!!

"dran-daddy"

Jake calles Bubba "drandaddy." He wants to be in Bubba's domain over by his chair doing various and sundry guy things apart from the women. He especially likes Bubba's big, silver toenail clippers. They become a racecar along the arms of the lazy-z-boy. Jake's imagination is what's so intriguing to me.

Bubba and I are keeping the boys this afternoon. Amanda went on a shopping jaunt by herself and you would think that she was going to Cinderella's ball.

Everything was going so well toward the one o-clock nap time. I had just changed two poo-poos and Eli was falling asleep in my arms with his bottle. I laid him down and off he went.....the little darling.

Bubba was just bringing Jake to his nap when we realized we didn't have the "happy" (pacifier).
We searched the house and it was not to be found. I called Amanda and in her joy at leaving she had taken it with her in her purse. She told us where one might be in the "gypsy cart" that we keep in the van.

Sure enough we found another "happy" which I confidently offered to Jake. He was outraged....it wasn't the right one. He started wailing and went over and searched through the diaper bag himself to no avail.

Amanda called and to the whole sad story she said...."just put him down and put that one in the bed and if he doesn't like it he will have to deal with it." That's easy for someone twenty-five miles away from the situation to say but it worked.

I put him down expecting the worst and I got the best.....I didn't hear a peep out of him. I don't know whether he's using the pacifier or just went to sleep without it. It really doesn't matter. Hopefully we have two hours to rest before everything starts over again.

"Drandaddy" is already asleep in his chair with no little boy to play with....."grammy is heading to the sofa with a book........sleep on little angels we love you.

i've never seen blue like that before

They intrigue me.....people's eyes. They say so much without speaking a word. They are the window to a person's soul and they reveal so much. When someone loves you it is right there in their eyes. I love blue eyes the best....I get lost in them.

Jake and Eli both have the most incredible blue eyes......and when they smile it fills my heart with joy. Little Eli smiles constantly. He can barely take his bottle for smiling back at me. His eyes are large and his eyelids don't open all the way. Jake's eyes are so beautiful and now he is using them to explore the world around him.

I love to look at the world through Jake's eyes. All of the wonderful things about children are present in this little boy. He doesn't miss a thing and he is learning so fast.

He calls the interstate highway the "go" and he will stand with me holding him in the big picture window in our kitchen looking at all of the different modes of transportation that can be seen. He cries when I have to put him down.

Jake and I spent a good bit of time in the Barnes and Noble bookstore today. He loves books as much as I do. I'm looking for a book to read at the beach on vacation in a few weeks and he was looking for "Little Einstein" books.

Think about God's eyes for a minute and take joy at reading this verse.....

"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." 2 Chronicles 16:9

hard lessons

Contrary to what most people believe, we are not born innocent. We do not pop out perfect and start going downhill from there. No....we are full blown sinners when we are born.

Behold I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me. Psalm 51:5

The Bible says a lot about discipline:

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child:
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

Jake is two. Amanda and I look at each other in amazement every day at the sweet, adorable little child who out of the blue dissolves into tears and anger when he doesn't get his way.

She gets frustrated that her efforts at discipline seem in vain. I keep encouraging her to be consistent and to "not grow weary in her work for the Lord." It is God's way, but it is hard work when they are small. The rewards are great when you see the child "grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men."

Every now and then we get a glimpse of progress.......Jake came last night when his mom called him to the bath. He was crying but he came.

God bless little Jake as he learns his difficult lessons.

By the way, God has provided a way to deal with our inherited sin nature. His name is Jesus Christ. More about that later.......

parking tickets

I do not mean to break the law. I try to be a law-abiding citizen in everything I do. The Bible tells us to "render under Ceasar." I really want to do what is right, but I cannot seem to go anywhere without getting some sort of ticket.

The last ticket was attained in Savannah. I parked unknowingly in a handicap space. I really wondered why such a wonderful parking spot was just sitting there in downtown Savannah when I usually have to drive around in circles for hours to find a place to stop my car, but I just figured I had been blessed and pulled right in.

When I returned there it was perched majestically under the wiper of my front window. "Oh no," I thought, "what could I have possibly done?" Whatever it was I owed $100.00 for it.

I picked up my cell phone, dialed the "City of Savannah" and found out I was in the sacred spot. I got out of the car and looked high up in the tree and there hidden by the leaves, sure enough, was the handicapp sign. Because of my excellent communication and arguing skills I got it reduced to $25.00, paid it myself, and didn't tell Bubba.

Today the four of us set out early. We try to get away sooner, but it is always at least 10:00 before we get out of the door. We drove to a children's resale shop that Amanda had mapquested. I found a spot right in front of the store. She got Eli and the diaper bag and I got "big Jake."

Amanda enjoyed shopping while I fed Eli a bottle and watched Jake play. Soon it was time to go. As we excited Amanda saw it first. It was a bright yellow envelope displayed proudly on the front of my car. In all of the things that have to be done just to get out of the car, we had walked right past the parking meter and didn't even think about feeding it.

$35.00

I haven't told Bubba...maybe he will read this and take pity.

old town alexandria

It is a charming little town built on the banks of the Potomac River. The world's smallest house is located there. A parade may pop up on any street at any time. The major thorougfares in the city are Duke, King, Queen, and Prince streets.

The shops and restaurants are small and close together....many must be accessed with some steep stairs. The walkways are paved with bricks and are narrow and unassuming. Manuvering them is a challenge on a good day.

Off we went today to show Amanda the delights of this area.....loaded down with everything I described yesterday and more. Amanda is enjoying her small size 8 figure. She really looked trendy today in her new skinny capri jeans and little kitten heel slides that I had given to her.
Striking is the word.

We parked near the river and started up the hill before us. It was already in the nineties....she is soon huffing....I offer to push the gypsy cart. She refuses. Before long she is starting to lose her balance in the little kitten heels. She still refuses to let me push.

We got in some of the shops that didn't have steps. We managed to make a few purchases. One children's store had a full setup of "Thomas the Train." Jake was so happy playing with it, but the fit that he pitched when I told him we had to leave was unearthly. I literally picked him up kicking and screaming and carried him out of the store.

Amanda let me push back to the van. It took all her energy to walk on the bricks in her little kitten heels. She put on my Nikes to walk over to the mall.

I have been laying on the bed in the cool room while the boys nap in a catatonic state. I may recover.....or maybe not.

wrestling alligators

After a little over a week I am becoming somewhat more adept at things pertaining to babies. I tell you for sure it is no easy task to guide them through a day.

The bottles are lined up on the counter every morning like soldiers standing ready for battle. One by one they disappear and at the end of the day they are what we like to call "dead soldiers." The tiny one lets us know when he is hungry by wailing.....we know immediately what he means and he doesn't speak a word.

Both Jake and Eli wear diapers. These paper wonders are also lined up ready for action. One wears a tiny diaper and the other wears one that is quite large. We go through a plethera of these every day. The "bombs" hang on the front door for a quick trip to the trash chute. Most of the ones with "deadly fumes" come right after you have just gotten them all cleaned up.

Putting babies in clothes is a joke. They do nothing to help. They do not stop what they are doing or put what they are holding down. It is like wrestling an alligator to the ground..... and then comes the tiny buttons and snaps. My fingers keep trying to make the two meet, but the constant squirming makes it impossible.

They look so adorable when we finally get them dressed, but after the wrestling match we are too tired to go anywhere.

They drive a two seater stroller. Jake sits in the front and Eli is mounted high in the back in his bucket. It takes a lot of energy just to push this monstrosity. By the time we put the fully loaded diaper bag, purses, and any packages in the storage area, we look like a pack of gypsies just getting into town.

At the end of the day I get to bathe the tiny one. I call it his "spa bath." I wash his head (no hair) and face and try to get to the collection of grossness that accumulates under his double chins..... then comes the body and the dip into warm water in the kitchen sink. He loves it and so do I! The application of body lotion caps it off and then the wrestling begins.......but O the sweet kisses that I steal when he is fresh and clean!!!!

At eight o'clock on the dot they both go down....O blessed peace and quiet.

"Grandchildren are the crown (blessing) of the aged." Proverbs 17:6

can't find the words

So often when I pray it is difficult for me to find the words to praise God adequately. I come up short.....my praise seem empty and trite compared with His power and grace and love. God's Word tells us that when we get to heaven we will be able to praise Him perfectly as we were created to do. I cannot wait to let it all out!!!

Today at church we sang the hymn "The Love of God," by F.M. Lehman. It struck me as I was singing the third verse that he too had set about to praise God's love and he articulated it so well:

"Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry,
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints and angels song.

The old hymn writers got it, didn't they?

Moma fell out of her wheelchair yesterday for the second time. She was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She checked out okay and they brought her back to the nursing home. She has such a resiliant spirit....nothing gets her down. I had just left Savannah the day before.

I thank God that I know He is in control of my mom's situation and that He knew I would be gone when this happened.

long days journey into night

We said we would play it by ear. With two two and under you never know what a day may bring. It was excruciating packing in the heat and getting everything under way. There was not an inch of empty space in the van.

Next we would make our rounds to tell everyone goodbye and hold precious little Eli one more time. We had been given the okay to stop for the night if we needed to. Somehow that was our ace in the hold. We wouldn't have to drive for ten hours if everything fell apart.

At three o'clock pm we drove onto I 95. Within minutes the boys were asleep. We had it made.

I think both of us knew when we left Savannah that we were not going to stop for the night, but we couldn't say it out loud. The effort it would have taken to unload supplies from the carefully put together puzzle in the back of the van would have taken more than either of us could have mustered up.

We drove on amid crying and happiness....Amanda perched on a big box of pampers in between the two back seats holding a bottle of milk in Eli's mouth, soothing one or the other, playing and singing or whatever else it took. Jake had his videos and Amanda and I had our music. On and on we went.

We picked up some bar-b-que sandwiches at Maurice's in SC. One of my favorite places.....so good! We ate them while driving. We felt like Thelma and Louise with babies. We had the wind at our tail.

If it hadn't been for the bottle of grenadine syrup that spilled out all over the floor in the front of the van it would have been a trip without incidence. Red and sticky, it oozed between my toes and stuck to my shoes. I doubt the stain will ever come out.

By the time we reached the DC it was slightly into Saturday morning. We were all four in various stages of stupers. Bubba was waiting in the parking garage for the weary travelers.

I grabbed the tiny one, Bubba and Amanda each got a pack- n- play and up we came to home....it never looked so good. Jake had to walk and he could barely stand up. He was definitely a weeble that wobbled, but didn't fall down.

God said through the prophet Jeremiah:

"For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." 31:25

boiled peanuts

Most people hate them....some of us love them with a sort of passion that we don't have for anything else. Amanda begged me yesterday to buy another bag full and they are cooking right now. The hard part is the cleaning. I was doing that with one hand while holding Eli in my other.

Boiled peanuts are a Southern thing....all you can get anywhere else is a can full of slimy goo that hardly resembles the real thing in any way. The best way to eat them is right after they are poured up from the boiling pot standing over the kitchen sink.

I know a few people who share this passion with me.....and another thing, I think if the truth were known, I have been trained to eat them faster than anyone else.

Amanda and Jake just left and I put Eli down for a nap. Evidently he doesn't want to take a nap because he is already up seated on my lap as I type this with one hand. I think while I have him by myself I will start teaching him to be a boiled peanut lover like his grammy. Maybe just the smell in the condo will entice him

the big yellow wagon

The big yellow wagon is perfect for carrying little boys to the beach. It is sturdy with big tires. I use it normally to transport my things from the car to the condo and vice versa. Last evening after Jake got out to play in the sand, we placed Eli in the wagon on a towel. He was the hit of the beach in his tiny little swim trunks. Everyone stopped by to admire his cuteness.

Jake had been a little stand-offish with the waves. He liked them but ran when they rushed at him. Last night I couldn't resist and was lulled into the warm water....when Jake saw me go in he wanted to follow. He loved it! Some major crying ensued when it was time to leave the beach. Last night we had Bubba to help with the parade to the shore and he stayed with the littlest one. Tonight it will be a bit harder with just us girls.

Bubba left early this morning and got back into DC about 3:00 pm. We girls and boys will leave on Friday for the long trip to the big city. I can't imagine what it will be like. I'm sure it will be a blog in itself.

Amanda is enjoying herself so much and is thriving in the beach climate. It's good to see her getting healthy again. I just found her on the deck doing a suduko. We all took naps this afternoon. She is such a good mother and devotes herself to her babies. It shows in their good behavior and sleeping habits. They are a joy to be around.

For this and so much more I am thankful beyond measure.

"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow." James 1:17

day is done

The last precious little baby has been put to bed...all is quiet, it is time to unwind. Soon darkness will be upon the world where we are.

We did a lot of visiting today.....the boys were at their best. Nana actually grabbed Eli and pulled him down on the bed beside her. She was very animated and she knew Amanda. Aunt Dottie got lots of holding time.....Jake just walks around making everybody laugh....he is full of very important talk. He was a little scared at the nursing home but he held it in very well for a two year old.

Estelle and Irvin came to the condo for a visit this evening....Eli charmed Estelle and Jake called both of them by name and said hello.....We had a little storm while they were here. All in all it was a nice Sunday. Amanda and I didn't get much of a nap because of Eli, but that's okay.

Just a little while ago God sent us a magnificent rainbow out over the ocean.....a promise from Him to us that He will never again destroy the earth with water, but so much more in that He is sovereign over all things.....He controls the right now and the future. We can rest in Him!

At the first light of day we will hear sweet voices and the patter of little feet down the hall. After we rest tonight we will be ready to start it all over again tomorrow.

What a joy! The blessings of this God of ours! Praise His holy name!

two little boys

They are here!! They arrived about 11:30 this morning. Bubba and Amanda were amazed at how well the trip went. They made it to Atlanta early this morning, spent a few hours in a hotel and came the rest of the way later this morning. They were all pooped and spent a good portion of the afternoon sleeping.

Jake and Eli are the best. Jake is talking well and calls me "gwammy." Eli is all smiles, a butterball with no hair. Bubba says he has my eyes. I like that!

We took them down to the beach and it started raining. When Jake saw the waves he wanted to leave, but he soon began to love it and cried when he had to get back in the wagon. He came in saying beach over and over. We told him we would go back tomorrow. After his bath and showing, he started begging to go "night - night." What child does that?

Amanda is as skinny as a rail. Her legs look like sticks. We have never seen her so small. She said that she has eaten more today than she has in a long while. Maybe we will fatten her up a little while she is here.

David is camping with his youth group this weekend in Wisconsin. Erika was going too, but she got sick and had to stay home. This was "tent" camping. I personally believe she was spared.

Amanda made her dad oatmeal raisin cookies for the trip, I fixed that good supper I mentioned yesterday, and I have some peanuts to boil. It may take him a while to get over the trip, but believe me he is in "hog heaven."

something else to say

Sometimes it is all I can do to step my foot inside the nursing home one more time. I want to turn and run...to breathe fresh air.....to go by mom's or nana's house and see them sitting in their chairs. I've been reading a lot lately and I thank God for His insight and perspective on what I am going through.

The Christian life is all about perserverance, finishing the race, being faithful until the end. What's going on in my life is definitely not what I would choose, but it is God's will for me. I am learning what He wants me to learn.

When I was leaving I went to tell nana goodbye and she got very angry at me when I tried to fix her pillow. She was agitated and I tried to comfort her back to sleep. I hope she has a restful night and that seeing her great-grandbabies on Sunday will bring a little joy.

There couldn't be a better time for me to be reading this book on heaven. I am going slow and digesting and reading again portions that amaze me. Here is a quote from Charles Spurgeon taken from the book:

"Christian, meditate much on heaven, it will help thee to press on, and to forget the toil of the way. This vale of tears is but the pathway to the better country: This world of woe is but the stepping-stone to a world of bliss. And, after death, what cometh? What wonder-world will open upon our astonished sight?"

My prayer is that, in God's perfect timing, these tired eyes, "seeing through a veil darkly," will open with perfect vision upon the magninificent new earth that Jesus is preparing for us.

alethia/truth

something else to say

our grandbabies are coming!

The road trip has started. Bubba left DC this morning heading for Louisville, KY, where he will aquire Amanda, Jake, and Eli for the rest of the trip to Savannah. They will leave after dinner and try to get some of the trip behind them tonight while the little darlings sleep.

I have heard from Bubba a couple of times already and he is making good time except for a stop at Cracker Barrel for breakfast that took way too long. Knowing that he is much happier with a full stomach, I feel that the stop was time well spent.

I failed to mention that "Sandra" was at Tybee over the Fourth. She had her regular big party on Saturday night and on the actual 4th she and her hubby were enjoying their pool together. I tried hard not to stare as I walked by, but it was difficult. No one else on the beach paid any attention to them and that is a good thing. I always watch her movies when I am at Tybee.

I am heading to the storage house to get all of the baby paraphenalia. Bubba has warned me not to go overboard. He says everthing that I take in I will have to bring out...I am truly trying to learn how to pare down.........but you know how it is when babies are involved. They need beds, and high chairs, and swings, and umbrellas for the beach and on and on.

What sent him over the edge was last Christmas, which we spent at the condo, when I hauled in a live Christmas tree with all the trimmings. He will never get over that.

I will also shop for food....now how would he feel if I didn't have plenty of that? Tomorrow there will be a roast in the crockpot and corn on the cob and butterbeans slathered with onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes. I think that will be something wonderful to come in to.

Just one more thing...Bubba is bringing his laptop and I will have unlimited access to it for three whole days. What else can I say.

dancing till the stars go blue

and red, and white and gold and green....the fireworks were beautiful last night. I saw several shows at the same time while sitting on the comfort of my deck. Hilton Head had three different displays and Daufauski had a small one. I could also see the ones from River Street in Savannah. The weather was beautiful all day yesterday and there was a cool breeze that made everything delightful.

I celebrated my freedom by taking a three hour hard and fast asleep nap yesterday afternoon. It felt so good and I feel refreshed today. I hope everyone had a marvelous break!

As we celebrate "freedom" I set forth that we are not truly free unless we are "in Christ." Jesus said this to the believers gathered around Him, " If you abide in My Word, then you are truly followers of mine: and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

Apart from Christ we cannot know the "truth." We can only know what the world tells us and that changes all the time. Jesus told His followers to abide in "His Word." That is the only place while we are in this world that we can find absolute truth.

Notice I didn't say go to church and you will find the truth. Sadly, the modern church has gotten so far away from the truth in its frivolous preaching that it is no longer viable.

God says in Proverbs 8:17

"I love those who love Me: and those who diligently seek me will fine Me."

Each one of us who picks up God's Word and prays for God to reveal Himself to them through it will be rewarded with understanding.

May we all clebrate that we are truly free....Cathy

this and that

I am sorry that I have mistakenly deleted a few comments. I am still learning and I sometimes hit the wrong button. Your comments are important to me so keep sending. Even if I deleted, I got your message!

The bouganvilla is cursed. The more I water and fertilize, the worse it looks. Bubba will hate to hear this, but I will soon give up on it. It's too hot and humid right now to grow anything.

Recounting the idea of my doing "stupid" things over the weekend, I left this one out......I was watering the fig tree in Aunt Dottie's backyard. It seemed to be parched and the abundant crop of figs seemed to be withering up. As I bent over to place the hose at the roots, I rammed my head into a branch that had been cut off. That contributed greatly to my poor physical condition, and now I think that her fig tree my be cursed as well.

Two women my age have drowned at Tybee this summer....both out for early morning swims alone. The latest one happened on Sunday. Her death was discovered when she floated up next to a surfer. What some people don't realize is that water out there that looks so beautiful is very dangerous. It grabs whoever it chooses and it doesn't let go. Just so you know.....I never swim alone.

Everyone enjoy your fourth doing what you love to do.....

rainy days and mondays.....

The unexpected death of my cat was the start of a downward spiral that is still spiriling downward. What can I say....it was a shock and my body always reacts to stress in a negative way. Mostly I hurt all over and feel weak and tired.....which is how I've felt for the last few days. Then I progress into the phase where I start to do things that are stupid. That happened last night about 9:00.

I had been busy making shrimp salad from scratch. We were bringing moma to the condo for an outing today and I was making some things that I knew she would like. I got the shrimp all cooked and peeled and deveined and cut up and then I decided that I needed to take the shrimp peels to the dempster-dumpster. It was raining and lightening, but I wasn't worried about that...I just love storms.

So I gathered all of the trash, looked longingly at the bed that I would get in as soon as I got back, then headed out, pulling the door tightly behind me. Then something dawned on me and I felt sick to my stomach......I had grabbed my cell phone but not my keys. I had locked myself out of the condo in the pouring rain.

I called Bubba in Arlington, VA, and got mad at him because he said there was nothing he could do. I called Frankie and he was home, cozy on the sofa, relaxing. He came and rescued me once again. I turned out my light at 11:30.

Moma had a bad day and didn't get to come. I took the "picnic" to the nursing home.

It's still raining and I'm still spiraling.