"fullness of joy"

I walked over to the Pentagon City Mall this morning before it started raining. Amanda had called early to let us know that they did not get blown away last night and that Macy's had an extra 40% off of their clearance items. I was dispatched over to see if there were any rock bottom bargains for her to sell on her e-bay business.

Sure enough some treasures were found and will be on their way to Louisville very soon.

I am struggling with the reality that my mother is gone. During the week of the funeral surrounded with so many people and happenings I guess my mind was anesthetized to what had happened. Now the reality is setting in.

I dream about her almost every night and then wake up a little confused. It's hard to believe that someone I was so close to for 59 years is just gone.

I don't sit around crying all day or anything like that......it's just that I have a great big empty space inside of me. I know that this is God's way, it's one of life's trials that one has to go through, but I miss her very much.

Another week has gone by and we still don't know anything.....there will come a point when we have to make a decision, but neither of us want to make it right now. We have enjoyed our time here (what little we have had together) and would like to stay a little longer. Only God knows what is ahead for us and we rest in that.

Psalm 16:8-11
I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad,
And my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.

For Thou will not
Abandon my soul to Sheoul;
Neither wilt Thou allow
Thy Holy One to undergo decay.

Thou wilt make known to me
The path of life;
In Thy precense is fullness of joy;
In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.