my 100th post

I never thought it would be like this.....there was a time in my life when I couldn't bear the thought of losing one of my parents. Now I am praying for moma to make it on through the valley of the shadow of death to the other side. I see it is a struggle for her, but I think "she" has already left us earthlings behind.

All I want to do is clean and organize things right now. I guess a psychoanalist would say it is my need to control things when things are out of control in my life. I feel strange going through the normal routine of my life with my mom lying there dying. But that is the way it is. You have to wait for them to do it themselves. You go on your journey to heaven with nothing in your possession except the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thanks for all of the calls, emails, visits, cards. You all are so wonderful to me.

Last night I found myself in the " Sundae Cafe" down at Tybee. I had heard the food was delicious and I had never seen for myself. It is in a strip mall next to a conveinence store and a liquor store. I walked in to get a takeout and I realized that it was quite nice. Nothing of what it looked like from the outside.

I ordered crab cakes with Savannah red rice and sauteed (sp) okra and tomatoes. Can I tell you how delicious it was....I took it home and feasted. I spent $20.00 on a meal for myself, but the other crab cake became two more meals so maybe I can justify the expense. Anyway....it made me feel real good.

Beautiful, one in a million day.....I love this weather.....C

the harvest moon

Wow....sometimes God's majesty and power in His creation completely overwhelms me. We are blessed with a "harvest" moon and a "spring" tide this week and it is absolutely awesome.

The "harvest' moon is very large and bright, supposedly given so that the farmers can harvest the rest of their crops before darkness sets in. The "spring" tide is an unusally high tide bringing the waves very close to the condo.

This morning I threw open the doors and windows to the cool fresh air and the sound of the crashing waves. What a blessing in this time of sorrow.

I am so thankful for my ride to and fro the beach every day. It is a wonderful time to contemplete the wonders of God. This morning water was all the way up to the Tybee Road. There was barely any marsh to be seen out there. The big ships sit up so high you can see their bottoms. I never get over this sight.

Moma very bad....what more can I say.

Bubba left early this morning to return to DC.

"To God be the Glory great things has He done....."

one more thing to say

I know that I said I wouldn't mention it again, but I have one more thing to say about Fibromyalgia. There are times when it gets a lot better and then times when it flares up and is very intense. Usually the flare ups come when I am under a lot of stress.

It started when I had my hysterectomy at age 30. This was a shock and a trauma to my body at such a young age. It raged for ten years undiagnosed until I was hospitalized for severe depression in 1989 and then finally diagnosed in the early 90's.

The disease has not been cured, but it can be managed most of the time. Because the last two years have been so intensely hard for me, I have been staggered by it's ravages lately. I am resting in the afternoons and going to bed early. Nothing lasts forever..... as my grandmother always said, "this too shall pass." Now I'm done about myself. I just cannot believe that I am unable to take Advil!!!

Moma is very low today. The doctor has told us that her death will be soon. We have all been praying that God will be merciful to her and not let her suffering be prolonged.

This has been a sweet time of fellowship with her and I am glad to see God's provision in death. I have never been this close to it before and He is seeing us through. The prayers of the faithful are sustaining us. Thank you...

"Blessed in God's sight is the death of one of His saints." Psalm

a diagnosis

It statrted in the early 80's with a pain in the middle of my chest. Many years and many doctors later I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which pretty much means that you hurt all over and you are tired all of the time. It being an auto-immune disease, I finally found out my problem from a rheumatologist in Atlanta in the early nineties.

Advil worked best for me. I do not like to take medicene, so I took it sparingly, only when the pain got really bad. Don't like to talk about my aches and pains either.......people just don't want to hear that sort of thing.

Lately my allergies have been acting up. This is common in immune system disorders. This latest bout with the bruises and burning was probably caused by an allergic reaction to Advil. (Thanks Estelle) The doctor gave me a prescription for another pain medicene, but I read that it can be habit forming, so I will not go there.

The blood showed that my white cells were elevated. My body is trying to fight the allergens. I will live. I need to exercise more and get lots of rest and eliminate the stress from my life. Anybody got any ideas how to do that?

Sorry to be so long on this......I will not mention it again, I promise, but everyone was interested to know what was going on. I am really very healthy....don't even take blood pressure medicene. I thank God for this blessing.

Moma is off of the antibiotics, but very much "out of it." Maybe it will take her a day or two to feel better. She's not eating much at all.

You were so right about there not being any joy in the nursing home. I think of the depravity of man and the end result of sin everytime I walk down the hall.

In moma's room is a large window looking out on a beautiful yard with trees and flowers and birds. Everyday I throw up the blinds and sit in a splash of sun as I minister to mom. I think if we try hard enough we can find God's blessing in everything.

"May mercy and peace and love be mutiplied to you." Jude 2

Thanks for showing you care......Love, Cathy

white after labor day

They were all washed, ironed, and ready to be put away.....my white linen pants. There is an unwritten rule in the fashion world that we are not to wear white after labor Day. Well it is still hot and humid and I broke that silly rule. I wore them today and they felt just right. Anyway, there are no fashion police at the nursing home where I spend most of my time.

My grandmother, Hodie, was a seamstress. She made everything from baby clothes to wedding gowns for people all over Savannah. She made all of my pretty dresses when I was a little girl. She would take me to Fines Department store to the children's section and tell me to pick out a beautiful dress and she would make it for me.

I think that's how I got interested in style and fashion. The things she would make would intrique me as she sewed them on an old foot-pedal Singer. I wish I had inherited her talent.

I have a theory about lizards in the fall. I think they slow down as they get ready to winter. Today I was coming down the stairs at the condo and I saw one on the very bottom step. He was a mile long! I told myself , "not to worry Cathy, he will scoot away before I get there." Well, that didn't happen. He stayed right where he was and to frighten me even more there was a second one.

Where do lizards go to winter? I am just glad that they go somewhere and hide and I don't have to experience that fright in the middle of my stomach for a few months.

Moma will be off of the antibiotics when I see her tomorrow. She is so much diminished right now. This vigil is very difficult, but as my commentor has said, God does things in His timing and in His way. Again, thank you. Your words mean the world to me...

Still no feedback from my blood. I hope it speaks tomorrow. I can't seem to get over my fatigue, but I guess that is to be expected.

What God made us to do:

Psalm 8:5-9
"Yet Thou has made him (man)
a little lower than God,
and dost crown Him with glory and majesty!

Thou dost make him (man) to rule
over the works of Thy hands;
Thou hast put all things under his feet.

All sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field.

The birds of the heavens,
and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes through the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Thy name
in all the earth."

the ocean

The ocean is turbulent tonight....the wind is whipping it up quite a bit. It is lovely to gaze upon.....dark gray with white, foamy, rolling waves.

It has brought a present to the beach in front of our rental condo......a large, fully intact tree with roots and branches. It looks strange and out of context sitting there, but it makes an eerily beautiful sight. I wish I could get pictures on my blog so that you can see it too. I have so much to learn!

I love September at Tybee. It is still warm enough to swim and enjoy the beach, with just a hint of change in the air. There is still alot of humidity, but it is somehow more bearable.

I am beginning to feel better. I have been resting as I've been told to do which is helping me to recuperate. Nothing back today from the vials of blood....maybe tomorrow. I feel your prayers as my body is trying to relax. The bruises are almost gone and the burning has ceased for the most part.

Moma is about the same. She finishes her round of antibiotics tomorrow and we will go from there. She asked me today, "Cathy, how did you get your skin to be all one color?" I told her that God made me that way!

Bubba was going back to DC tomorrow but has changed his mind. He will wait for the weekend and to see how moma does in the next few days. We dinnered at Johnny Harris' tonight...good fried chicken!

Does God hear our prayers?

Psalm 116:1&2
"I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live."

what's wrong with cathy?

Probably nothing, but they had to draw two huge vials of blood today at Memorial Hospital to find out. It seems as if my immune system has gone haywire with all of the stress and is making me allergic to everything. We will see what all of that blood has to say. The doctor asked to be sent the results ASAP.

Mom developed a fever this afternoon. We continue to keep the vigil and pray for God's mercy for her and dad at this time.

I went to visit Aunt Dottie on Saturday. The community had put on a low country boil with crab legs for lunch. She was in a great mood and seems to be enjoying her new home. She has gotten into the bingo and has won several prizes. The one who wins the most at the end of the month gets a $25 gift card to Wal-Mart. I am so glad that she has people in her life again.

Bubba, thank you for cooking, grocery shopping, getting my van serviced and cleaned, (you can hardly see the "red stain"), for bearing with me in my weakness.

Frankie, thank you for your constant support, phone calls, and long talks when needed. Your humor helps keep me going.

Everyone who has prayed and encouraged me....thank you as well.

Psalm 112:1 "Praise the Lord! How blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments."

those pale blue eyes

It woke me up at 5:30 pm.......the ringing of my cell phone. I laid down at 1:30pm to read and get a little rest. I guess I would still be sleeping. My doctor sent me some medicene on Friday to stop the burning and the itching inside of me. It has helped a little. I have to go in to see him tomorrow.

Her eyes search my eyes......for answers, for help? I do not know. Moma is all hooked up to little plastic tubing. She can barely talk above a whisper and even then I don't know what she is saying most of the time. There is a pleading in those pale blue eyes. Again I read the Psalms. She doesn't want me to stop.

I read this to her and it comforted me as well;
Psalm 48:14 "For such is God, Our God forever and ever; He will guide us until death."

She sees angels hovering around her. Thank you God for your "guidance until death."

Bubba will head back on Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. I won't go with him. I will stay here for now. We still don't know whether he will stay in Washington. Hopefully we will know within the next few days.

Thank you to the dear one who is encouraging me right now. Just know that it means so much to see your words. God bless you whoever you are.

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strengh, a very present help in trouble. therefore we will not fear."

dreaming about an armadillo

Moma is better today....awake and alert, but condsideribly declined. She is on antibiotics and hydration. She knew us and seemed to enjoy my reading the Bible and singing some hymms with her. She even joined in very quietly on the chorus of "He keeps me Singing." We used to sing that song when my babies were little and she remembered it. I am always so glad to see how God's word comforts her.

We drove until 11:00pm last evening. We made it halfway which made today's trip much easier.
As I usually turn my light out before 10:00pm that was really a stretch for me. I finally got Bubba to stop at a Hampton Inn and they only had one room left.....a smoking room. We declined and drove for another 20 miles.

The moon was half full and some dark clouds were chasing it all over the sky last night. Sometimes it would disappear completely for a while only to peek out again in another location. I think that had something to do with the twists and turns in the road and not a new and strange phenonminum in the sky.

I heard recently heard that I am to be inducted into the "drive up and down I-95 constantly" Hall of Fame. Women of my age are not normally given this honor, but I seem to have reached some kind of record. More details on this will follow.

I passed a dead armadillo and had to call Amanda. She had a dream last week that we were at the Robert Cleland's house and they had a pet armadillo. We were sitting on the sofa holding and petting it when it had an accident on us. We laughed at the incongruity of that whole scene.

I have broken out with bruises all over my arms and seem to be on fire from the inside. I think it is stress. I am really struggling and ask again for your prayers.

My dear husband dropped his job search to be with me here in Savannah. It was his idea that we come together at this time. Please pray for him as well.

leaving

Just to let you know, my mom is not doing well. She aspirated on some food last night and is having trouble breathing. She is on oxygen. She may come out of it, but Frankie said that it doesn't look good.

Bubba and I will leave in a little while....after rush hour to get some of the trip behind us tonight.

Thanks for praying....God is in control!

a worthy pursuit

For some reason I can't ever have access to it. My computer is at Best Buy and has been there since last Wednesday, just a few days after I returned from Savannah. Bubba said I must have opened a "virus" and let it come into my computer.

I am using Bubba's laptop which is perfectly adequate, but I really enjoy my "big screen" table- top model. It has all of my favorites and I just like to use it, but I never get to. I am not complaining because my needs are met.......just wondering why.

Bubba is on his way home from Louisville. He is struggling with traffic and hills and almost 20 hours of windshield time in two days. He got a really great job offer this morning, but is probably going to turn it down because it is not what he wants to do. We have a couple of days before we have to start packing.

We are excited to share the news that David and Erika are considering a Russian adoption. They are asking for prayer as they start down this long and expensive road. Of course we as the grandparents welcome any children into our family. There's plenty of love to go around.

They consider their adoptions to be part of their ministry and would even like to work in this area in the future helping other perspective adoptive parents. Here is the verse that they look to as they start down this pathway:

James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

To give any child the priviledge to grow up in a Christian home is indeed a worthy pursuit. David and Erika and Lucy, we will be lifting you up in our prayers as we always do. We love and cherish you!

the weather is perfect

The travelers left at nine and have just now arrived in Louisville. According to Bubba it went very well. He was on his way to get a pizza. Once again I say thank you to God for watching over them today.

I miss the babies very much, but all is as it should be......they are home with mom and dad and their grandparents are delighted to have had them for a time. Memories are made each time we are together that will last a lifetime.

I finally unpacked my suitcase today. Some other housekeeping chores got done as well, but it was such a beautiful day to stay indoors. I found myself over at Old Town Alexandria walking in the sunshine and letting the incredible cool air blow around my body.

I ate at an outdoor cafe under an umbrella watching the people walk by
I enjoyed homemade custard on a bench on the sidewalk
I bought an absolutely gorgeous, soft, long, brown sweater
I decided on two new fiction books
I found some scuppernongs at a fresh market
I was disappointed that my little vitamin shop had closed without me knowing where they went.
I felt relaxed and refreshed when I came home with my supper in a box

This is probably the lull before the storm. If nothing else in the way of a job here in Washington opens up for Bubba, we have to be out of our apartment on Setember 30th. According to my calculations, today is September 17th. leaving 13 days.

We kept all of our expensive packing boxes. They are under the beds. About this weekend if nothing changes I will be "packing to move" again.

Psalm 16:11 "Thou will make known to me the path of life; In thy presence is fullness of joy; In Thy right hand are pleasures forever."

what happens to me

It's been over three weeks since I have been able to read and study God's word. There is no way to beat the little guys up in the morning and at night I am tired and weary and unable to concentrate.

These are some things that happen to me:

I lose my sense of focus on God
I am unable to think biblically about situations in my life
I forget to be thankful
My "vain imaginations" start to be predominant in my thinking
I start to feel sorry for myself
My joy is diminished
I forget to think of others more highly than myself
I become easily irritated

To sum it all up, I become "me" centered rather than "God" centered.

Scripture keeps me grounded
It keeps me focused on how big God is and how small I am.
It keeps me trusting in God
It enables me to think biblically
It reminds me to be thankful in all things

Instead of "vain imaginations" I am able to think about what is "true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise." (Phil. 4:8)

I realise that I have no right to "feel sorry for myself," that I have much more than I deserve
I can find my joy in the Lord and His word.
The Holy Spirit gives me the power and ability to put others needs before my own
I can have self-control and disipline over my emotions.

Being in God's word is not an option for me it is a neccessity.

Psalm 119:160 "The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever."

what is that awful smell?

It started mid-week......a "just a little off smell. I thought it was the small bag of potatoes that we brought from Savannah. Somehow they got out of the bag and were rolling all around the van. Bubba retrieved them Thursday afternoon to make mashed potatoes to go with our roast.

By this morning the smell had gotten unbearable, especially in the back around Eli's seat. When we reached our destination I told Amanda that we had to empty the van and find the source of our constenation.......we couldn't take it any more.

We decided it must be either a forgotten dirty diaper or a random rotten potato. So we searched under the seats and in all of the nooks and crannies to find absolutely nothing.

Bubba had bought Amanda a small, flat-topped ice chest to sit on between the two back seats to feed Eli and take care of the boys on our long trips. She teeters quite a bit, but it gets the job done.

When we left Savannah a week ago Friday Amanda had put some of Jake's fresh chicken in the ice chest with a cold pack. This morning we both remembered it at the same time........"it's the chicken."

I told Amanda to get the chest but not to open it in the van. She opened it anyway and slammed it shut at the speed of light. Then she started gagging in the parking lot. She came very close to vomiting right then and there.

I grabbed the chest and walked to the nearest trash can to dispose of the wretchedness that had produced the awful smell. When I returned to the van Amanda was still reeling from the encounter with the chicken and the babies were oblivious to the whole awful scene.

When we got home, Bubba was working with the garbage disposal. After lunch he cleaned the kitchen and put the remains of his meal in the machine to be ground up into oblivion. The thing was chugging at low speed barely able to function.

He turned it off and put his hand in to see what the problem was.......one baby washcloth and three lemon quarters were gumming up the works.

We have all lost it.....we have gone over the edge.

Bubba will leave on Monday morning to take Amanda, Jake, and Eli back to Louisville. I will stay here to make plans to enter rehab. Bubba may join me when he returns.

getting gasoline

I struggle with my gasoline usage. Once again I let it get down to fumes and once again I got a reprimand from Bub. "Cathy, how could you let this happen with things the way they are? You have two babies in the car....what if you get stuck on the side of the road? In this heat you would have to take them out of the car and there you and Amanda would be on the side of the road with two babies."

I forget about the gasoline. Both Amanda and I knew we needed to get gas but we kept forgetting. She made the mistake of asking her dad to go get it for us and that is how he found out that we were on fumes.

I made the suggestion to Bubba that he start checking my gas gauge frequently and going to get gas for me when I need to be refilled. He looked at me as if I were completely crazy.

We are checking it very closely now and I will get gas when the tank is half full.

Just for the record.....I think getting gas is a man thing. It is definitly not one of the "things i love."

If you ever see us on the side of the road, would you give us a lift??

alligator fingernails

I knew I would have to cut them. Amanda refused.....she said she wouldn't even try. I kept putting it off until last night when Eli left a slit on my neck and chest with his precious little fingernails.

My excuse had been that I couldn't find my fingernail scissors, but you can be sure that I made the effort to find them last night. I have made the observation in the past that dressing a baby is like wrestling an alligator. Well.....cutting their fingernails is like cutting an alligator's fingernails.

The thing about babies is that they are only still when they are sleeping.......at all other times they are constantly moving. The hard part is that every time I tried to cut a nail, Eli would pull his little hand away. It is an accomplishment to do all ten fingers without drawing blood.

I was so proud to be done with Eli.....then Amanda made me cut Jake's fingernails.....all ten of them with dirt underneath. Can you believe that the same thing happened again? Jake pulled each finger away several times before the job was done.

At 59 years of age I can still get the mothering thing done. It takes some practice, but it all comes back. It takes both Amanda and I going full steam from morning till night to keep these boys cared for.....I don't know how she does it by herself.

One more thing........babies are very slippery when you bathe them. So far I have been able to keep a good grip when I get the little round butterball all soaped up. Eli likes a big tub of warm water as much as anyone else, but the best is when I take him out and wrap him up in a big, fluffy towel. He is warm and he smells sooooo good. That is the best!

Maybe I can talk Bubba into adopting one of our own!!!!!

a second blog for 9/11/2007

I continue to add to my list of "things i love." That might end up being my longest blog ever.

Amanda conned me into watching "The Biggest Loser" with her just now. When I found out it was on for two hours, I opted out to come back to the computer. She couldn't believe I didn't want to watch the rest of the show.

I have mastered the art of the feeding of Eli. He now opens his little mouth in anticipation of the food. He has stopped, thankfully, pushing it back out with his tongue. Tonight we called him one of the "Chip & Dales" because he ate in just a diaper and socks with a bib.

It rained all day, but we perservered in our e-bay shopping. Amanda shops and I push the boys around in the double stroller. We ate at "Five Guys" where Jake had a bad fall and even worse crying. I soothed his bitten lip with vanilla ice cream.

We cannot move in this apartment for all of our stuff. I have not yet even been able to unpack my suitcase. Jake sleeps in the master bathroom so that is a diaster and all of Amanda's purchases are everywhere. My "need" for order is held in abeyence(sp) for now. It is good for me to be "out of order" every once in a while.

Please keep praying for us. Bubba is following some leads on some jobs. My mom is holding her own which is an answer to prayer since I can't be there right now. Thanks to the annonymous commenter on my Thursday night blog.....I cherish your words and your prayers.

From Washington, DC to all of you.......good night!

half-staff

All of the flags around the Pentagon are at half-staff today. It is somewhat eerie just to be here on this day of days.....September 11. We are a stones throw away from the site of the attacks of six years ago. One can see vividly the area that has been since reconstructed. There is a slight variation in the coloring of the stone. I never pass by that I don't remember.

We must always remember (e-member as Jake would say) what happened that day and what has not happened again since that day. I thank President Bush for the wonderful job he has done in keeping us safe.......in fighting this war against terror that has made him so unpopular.

People who do what is right are never well-liked. They become the subject of ridicule and scorn.
Think about Jesus Christ. He is the Son of God and when he spoke people hated Him and cried out for Him to be put to death.

Life has gone back to normal in this city that carries on the work of our nation. We all got up this morning and went about our daily routines.

There was a brief exchange last night between Bubba and Amanda and I of whether we should get out of town today "just in case." Then we laughed and said, "no way." We will not be scared away. Our days are numbered by God and we will enjoy our days until our number comes up.

In the meantime let us "pray for those who have authority over us." And when it comes time to vote, let us be very careful who we vote to be in authority over us.

getting there on time

Yesterday Bubba and I got to go to church. What a good blessing it is to worship with other believers. What a priviledge it is to join together in a body and hear God's word proclaimed. We can still gather freely and without fear to praise and worship the true and living God. I wonder if in ten years (2017) we will still be able to do so.

Our pastor is preaching through the book of Luke. He is an expert expositor of God's word and is always well prepared. He preached from Luke 16 yesterday and there were several difficult passages......I won't get into those, but I love something he said relating to one of the passages.

"Punctuality shows Respect"

I've never thought of it in quite that way but it is so true. Showing up late shows a lack of regard for other people. It says, "I don't care what time you say, I will show up when I get ready." As I've thought of times this has happened to me I realize that is exactly how I felt......disrespected.

Because of our experience in the military and Bubba's home training, I have learned to be punctual. I had to learn this important lesson. This is one way that I can show respect to my husband to honor his wishes and to show respect to others at the same time.

Amanda and I laugh about how we couldn't be late if we tried, and believe me we have tried!

People will be late at times for legitimate reasons......this goes without saying, but to make it the pattern of your life is unacceptable and selfish.

"Do nothing from selfishness or self-glory, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself." Philippians 2:3

I must say thank you for the prayers. Every now and then I hit rock bottom and I was there on Thursday of last week when I wrote the blog asking for prayer. To be the receipent of your prayers is a great blessing to me.

Yesterday I wrote a list of "things that i love." This is another way that I drag myself out of the "pit of despair." Try it......it really works when you count your blessings.

things i love

pure, clean, white sheets and towels
a fire in the fireplace
open windows
rainy days
getting a comment on my blog
walks on the beach
kittens
good, hot showers with olive oil soap
my latex foam rubber pillow
reading a good book
sitting on the beach looking at the ocean
laughing
birthday cakes
dressing up
going to bed early
kissing a baby
blue eyes
going barefoot
a small bouquet of flowers to welcome me home
a clean house
the smell of the marsh in Savannah
a full moom
listening to music
shampooing my hair
being told that I smell good
eating really good food
an interesting conversation
candlelight
a baby asleep in my arms
rocking chairs
cool autumn days
a clean sheet of paper
ribbons
checking for e-mails received
getting a letter in the mail
napping in the middle of the day
a pair of new shoes
fresh flowers on my bedside table and in the bathroom
watching the sun set
writing my thoughts
enjoying a good cup of coffee
knowing that someone loves me

Blessings from God too numerous to number

another safe trip

We got home to DC at 9:15 last evening. It took us ten hours. There was a lot of traffic and several bathroom stops. The boys were good, though.....Amanda gave Eli some cough syrup and he just sat in his seat all day making not so much as a peep. Jake has become a well- seasoned traveler. He watched his videos and played with his new motorcycle most of the time.

I had also taken some cough syrup the night before and had to sleep for a while. Amanda drove more than I. We talked and listened to music and picked up things that Jake threw on the floor.

We did get back to "Maurices" for our bar-b-que sandwiches which we ate in the car. Jake got his own medium fries from McDonalds. He ate all he wanted and then dropped them on the floor. That is how he lets us know he is done.

The funniest part of the trip came when we stopped at the Cracker Barrel for dinner. Some piece from under the front of the van had dropped down and had been dragging under the car. As we drove into the parking lot we were making a very loud noise at which many people stopped to stare. One man came over to inform us that something was indeed dragging (as if we didn't already know).

Not knowing what it was or what to do and not wanting to delay our trip (the sun was quickly going down), we chose to drive on home with the problem. We couldn't hear it on the interstate , but when we excited onto our street it was as loud as ever. By the time we got to the parking garage the noise stopped and we figured whatever it was had finally given up and dropped off.

I haven't told Bubba yet. I forgot about it until just now. I hope it wasn't anything very important. It seemed to be made of rubber.

The lovely van that we had detailed a week ago is a "sty" again. that comes when you eat and transport babies on ten hour trips, but at least there are no more "red or purple or green" permanent stains.

God is so gracious to keep us safe on these long journeys and on the short ones too.

would you pray for me?

He said that my dryer is fixed for certain. I hope so.....I enjoyed my time at the beach and after packing the van in the humidity I am worn out. I am at the Thunderbolt library today for one last blog before we leave in the morning.

Please pray for me as I have a great sense of dread about leaving. My mom is starting to do the same things Nana did in the weeks leading up to her death, not eating much and sleeping most of the time.

Bubba thinks I need to get away for a while and I agree, but I want to be here as well. We will enjoy Amanda and the babies in DC for a while and then take her home. Their presense has been such a blessing to us.

We are going to try to go see David and fam in Chicago and then return to DC. These are the plans of man, but God may change those plans at any moment.

For anyone that I have offended, please accept my apology. I am struggling to keep my head above water and have been all summer. If I haven't seemed right, bear with me. I know that God is in control and is carrying me through this seemingly never ending trial. One day it will be over, but it may not be until I get to heaven.

The shadow of death is heavy upon my soul as I continue to walk the halls of the nursing home every day. Dad is weak and just wants me by his side.

My joy is still in God and His word and in those who love me.....Cathy

nighttime students

I'm moving back to the beach tonight. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to have the washer/dryer repairman out to the condo since May......and the time frame is always the same, 8:00am until 12:00 am. Rather than having to get up super early I am just going to spend the night.

Doing that will serve another purpose as well. Amanda and I are going to DC on Friday and I need to pull some things together to take with me. Also, I will get one more chance to see and be at the ocean before we leave. It has gotten into my blood and I struggle with leaving.

Bubba will get on I95 early in the morning to beat us back by a day. His finger is getting better, but is still an awful sight. As with all things of that nature he hits it on everything he comes in contact with. At least simply driving should give it a day of rest.

As you know traveling with babies is an adventure in itself. I think if all goes well we will try to get a match for the "red stain." I have a big jar of grape juice that I'm taking on the trip.

I saw an old friend from my senior year in high school this evening. He and I had study hall together for a whole year. We never studied but we always talked and talked. Oh the memories that such an encounter stirs up.

Eli fell asleep in my arms tonight......I fed him pablum, gave him his spa bath and his bottle and off he went to dreamland. I just studied his face and marveled at the work of God. Out of an intense trial for Amanda came this perfect little guy who gives so freely of his smiles.

Amanda and I are at Panera Bread tonight. We lose our nighttime baby sitter tomorrow so this will be our last night to walk in with our laptops and pretend to be studying for an exam. I am going back to school to be a nurse and she is getting her masters in business for her e-bay self-employment. Just kidding!!!!!!!!

diagnosis

I was awake from 3:00am until 4:30am this morning because my allergies have flared up again and I was not feeling well. I got to thinking about Bubba and his sore finger. We are in twin beds in Aunt Dottie's old bedroom and the darkness is pitch in there.

I realised that I had not heard any breathing or stirring since I had been laying awake. Because my mind plays tricks on me in the middle of the night, I immediately thought that he had died from the fast moving mysterious infection in the tip of his finger.

I could not see anything so I got up to feel for him. He was not there! I found him in the family room in the recliner with his hand propped up on pillows.

He was at the urgent care when it opened this morning. The doctor immediately pronounced it infected and stuck a needle in his nail to release all of the pus that had built up.

When we left just now he was soaking his hand in Epsom salts, taking antibiotics and Advil, and watching the Braves. He is better......we are thankful.

the tip of bubba's finger

Amanda and I have been trying to figure out all day today why Bubba has been so out of sorts. I slept until 8:30 this morning and I thought he was mad at me for that when I first got up.

It just dawned on us what his problem is........the tip of his finger is red and swollen and throbbing. Now that would put me in a bad mood too. Why it took us all day to figure out what his problem was is a mystery to me.

He doesn't remember doing anything to it, so if any of you medical people out there have any idea what could be wrong, please let me know. If it's not better in the morning he is going to the doctor so you know it must be bad.

When Amanda and I left just now to come to the BK he had it stuck in a cup of cold water. It's going to be embarrasing to walk into the doctor's office with this particular complaint. I will write the diagnosis the next time I blog.

We went to Barnes for supper tonight.......Amanda loves their chicken fingers. Knowing that Bubba was "living on the edge," we tried to be very careful. All was going well until Jake flew his rocket wildly over the table and knocked over Bubba's completely full glass of incredibly sweet tea. All I will say is just be glad you weren't there.

Amanda and I snuck away during naptime today and had a great time finding bargin sale items for her to sell on e-bay. With both of us searching we were able to come away with many rock bottom items. Looking for the "bargin buy" is one of our favorite things to engage in.

We took Jake and Eli to the nursing home this afternoon. Moma was a little better, but Jake and Eli raised several ruckises (sp). We asked Gi if she was bothered by them and she said not at all. After several falls and freak outs we left them to seek a semblence of peace.......

We had a beautiful Labor Day. Blue skies and plenty of sunshine after the bad weather of the weekend. We didn't do much work, but neither did we get to nap.

We had a piece of pie with our coffee tonight...to justify the use of the BK's computer juice. I would never do this by myself, but together it seems alright. It's better that fighting for a computer at the public library.

Oh, by the way, I heard Bubba mention today that he is going to look into getting a laptop for me to use when I am in Savannah.....I'm keeping my fingers crossed....will you do the same?

at the burger king

Bubba and I have moved temporarily out to Nana's house to be able to enjoy Amanda and the "little boys." It seems strange for Nana and Aunt Dot not to be there. It looks different too, because our "stuff" is spread out everywhere. The washing machine is constantly chugging along and the kitchen is in full swing again.

We all rested today....we needed it badly after experiencing this last week. Everyone went to sleep at one and stayed at it until four. All of us are SO good at napping frequently. We just haven't been able to do it lately.

Amanda and I have waited all day to get the boys to bed and head over to the Burger King. They have free WiFi for their customers, so we bought decaf coffees and here we sit......me blogging and her doing her e-bay business. We can't stop laughing at how we must look.

We have had three days of torrential rains here in Savannah over the last few days. I have rarely seen such a deluge in my lifetime. It started Friday morning and lasted until this afternoon.

I want to give God the glory He deserves for the short respite from the rain that He gave us to accomplish Nana's burial service. That was such a direct and definate answer to many prayers.

I am always amazed at how much God is involved in the tiniest details of the lives of believers. That is just one of the ways He has shown His goodness to us in these past days.

I would also like to thank Him for the fact that Nana raised a son and had a grandson that stood before her grave and proclaimed the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Two godly men from her lineage that stood up to honor her life with words of truth. She would have been so proud of Robbie and David.

Just a lot of different thoughts tonight....................thank you all for reading and sharing my joy and giving me the opportunity to come to the Burger King late at night.